emcee la lynn

I’ve been asked to be the Master of Ceremonies at S’s sister’s wedding. No one has ever asked me to participate in a wedding before (except as a photographer). So, that’s nice. And I like the idea of being referred to as Master, but am not a natural public speaker. My voice changes pitch when I’m nervous, and my natural ebullient humour is strained. Still, I’m thinking about it…

Maybe by the time I’ve thought about it, she’ll have asked someone else.

follow-up: I MC’d and I was fabulous. 

assholes at Don Valley Volkswagen

A while ago, I brought my car into the dealership to get an oil change.  When I got the car back home, I noticed the driver’s side door didn’t work right.  It was as though the latch in the door wasn’t striking properly.  Maybe they overlooked lubing the door parts.  So next time I was there, I asked about the door.  They looked at it and said it wasn’t something they could fix… it would be better if I had their body shop look at it – but the body shop was open only M-F 9-5 type of thing.  They suggested that the next time I bring it in for servicing, I do so during those hours and get them to arrange an appt with the body shop for me.

Those hours are not remotely convenient for me, and it seemed it wasn’t particularly serious, so next time I serviced the car I did it during the evening.  The technician must have noticed the door problem because the servicing rep came to me and asked if I knew the door didn’t work properly.  Yep – sure do.  He suggested that the next time I bring it in for servicing, I do so on a weekday before 5, so that they could send it over to the body shop.

Ok ok… so this time I call the dealership to make an appointment for servicing.  I talk to a  fellow named Joe and say I need an oil change and a Drive Clean test AND I need the appointment during body shop hours because I need them to look at my door.  I asked if he could set it up with the body shop.  You betcha.

Then I take a half day off work so that it can be accomplished during the body shop’s oh-so-convenient hours.  Three hours of me in an uncomfortable chair watching CP24 loop over and over again… and the smiling service rep call me over to his desk and hands me my key.  The car passed the Drive Clean test, the oil was changed, but the body shop would take another 2-3 hours (the hinge needs to be replaced, but they’d need to paint it black and let it dry first).  If only I had let them know ahead of time to make an appointment with the body shop…

What?!? 

So I explained that I took a fucking afternoon off because I was assured by Joe that it was all good and he’d take care of it.  Mark, the service rep, stopped smiling then and said if I wanted to make another appointment he’d guarantee that it would be done.  Ya – and take another afternoon off?  No thanks.  Why should I spend more vacation time on them than I do on myself lately.

Fuck them and their damned uncomfortable chairs!

wine barrel

Hey! S&L brought us a wine barrel that we can use for a rain barrel.  Woo hoo! 

Now all I need is something to plug up that bung hole!

 

I so need to wash my car

It’s filthy – covered in road dirt and construction dirt from nearby, leaves from the tree its parked under, plus it’s really getting junky inside.

I’m so lazy.

I need to:

- unpack stuff in my house (but first I have to buy cupboards and shelves to put the stuff that needs unpacking),
- wash my front room window
- sort out where to put the tv (or more specifically, where to put my living room),
- organize the shoes in the basement to free up some more shelf space,
- make a workshop area in the basement and store my tools etc,
- do something about the rug on the stairs and upstairs hallway (it’s very ass),
- figure out where to store clothes (the basement isn’t so damp now that we have the dehumidifier, but it may be a little too damp for clothing storage),
- make a window well for one of my basement windows,
- regrade the backyard,
- have the outside tap relocated,
- restain the Muskoka chairs,
- refinish the floors upstairs,
- install the Costco light fixture in the bathroom,
- buy a ladder,
- recaulk the tub,
- reapply caulking along the backsplash in the kitchen,
- paint some bare wood trim outside as well as the metal roof of the porch,
- get new knobs for the kitchen cupboards,
- paint the ceilings downstairs (they’re paint over wallpaper and the wallpaper is coming loose – so I need to sort that out too),
- paint the walls something other than off-white
- call someone in to prepare the boiler for the winter…

I feel like I’ve gotten so little done, but we’ve only been there for 2 months. I haven’t even got a utility bill yet (waiting with bated breath to see what the electricity bill will be after the heat wave we&’ve been having)

I have to say, though, the place really feels like home to me.

chiclets

I bought some chiclets at lunch. Chiclets used to be this unique gum. Each piece was a tiny rectangle covered with a white candy coating. They came in a thin rectanglar cardboard box. Now pretty much all gum comes in a thin rectangular sleeve and has a hard shell. Everything is a chiclet now.

The chiclets are “sours”. The strawberry ones taste JUST like Adams wild cherry gum from my childhood. I loved that gum – it had a fantastic taste. The only downside was that you’d suck the flavour and softness out of the gum pretty fast and have to get a new piece. The pack of gum didn’t last very long.

Not surprisingly, these chiclets are exactly the same. Oh my aching jaw muscles!

Perfect Image

My sister got hired as a tattoo artist at Perfect Image in Wasaga Beach.  The shop is only open during the summer, but it gets crazy busy so she should make some good coin.  Too bad the summer is almost over, but hopefully she’ll be able to set herself up for more good things to come.

Yay sis!

men still leave me presents….

The downside about living amongst the crack hos… the stuff that gets left behind in the laneway behind my house.

I need me some good ho repellant

gmail

I just signed up for a gmail account because a) I’m bored and 2) I’m curious to see what kind of advertisements they’ll choose for me based on the content of my email. Although it is a bit of a pain in the ass to use a new email account just for an experiment. Ah well – drop me a line and lets get the experiment rolling: lynnontop (at,you guessed it,) gmail.com.

retirement living at its finest

Li’l Sis snagged mom a private room at Simcoe Terrace, right across from the indoor smoking lounge. For a mere $1,850 (yes - twice what she’s paying now to house herself and Li’l sis in a two bedroom apartment) she can live in warm and comfortable retirement living until her savings runs out.  So, all we need is for Dr. Ali  to fill out the medical questionnaire — which he said he’d do “later”.  Always accommodating.  A real people person.  I especially like the way he told her to sell her house, then a few years later told her it was the worse thing she could have done. That was right up there with telling her she had to give me Power of Attorney immediately (get the forms from the Social Worker and do it right now) – then he fucked off and the hospital staff refused to witness mom’s signature.  Oh ya, and he told her that he was taking her driver’s license away because of the meds she was on (great way to keep a schizophrenic on her meds is to tell her that the meds will prevent her from driving) – and that she could have her licence back if she stayed on her meds for a  year.  The year passed and when she asked about her licence, he said she’d have to get some other doctor to reinstate it.  ya – good way to build trust with your paranoid psychiatric patient.

chocolatey goodness

I’m currently enjoying a mocha Chiller from Second Cup, and a chocolate dipped macaroon (again, from Second Cup). The macaroon is, sadly, a disappointment… soft, flabby, not very coconutty – and the chocolate it’s dipped in tastes less than super chocolatey. But the mocha chiller is making up for it all. Mmmmm I loves me a nice chiller.

Even though the chiller looks like some cheap-ass slushie, it’s made from espresso and milk.  I think the Chillate and the Frappuccino (from Starbucks) are made from some sort of powdered mix.

Mind you, $6.52 for this wee snack is a little rich.  Not as rich as the cheaper Iced Cap from Tim Hortons.  Here’s a scary tidbit of info:

A big new seller, and one of the cheaper buys in the latest thirst- quenching fad, is Tim Horton’s Iced Cappuccino.
The large-sized, 18-ounce drink, which sells for $2.89, has 457 calories and 23 grams of fat. That’s 51 more calories and eight grams of fat than two pepperoni pizza slices from Domino’s Pizza. To picture what 23 grams of ingested fat looks like, imagine eating six teaspoons of fat. Icepresso Chiller (Second Cup, 16 oz.) – 208 calories, 3 grams of fat Coffee Frappuccino (Starbucks, 16 oz.) – 240 calories, 2.5 grams of fat

Iced Creme Brulee Ristretto (Second Cup, 16 oz.) -439 calories, 21 grams fat.

Caramel Frappuccino (Starbucks, 16 oz.) – 400 calories, 11 grams fat.

Iced Cappuccino (Tim Horton’s, 14 oz.) – 365 calories, 17 grams fat.