I received a call from the Office of the Public Guardian and Trustee. “Your mother has been found incapable…”
It’s strange. I know my mother is incapable. I know that in addition to being crazy, she’s now also particularly stupid. And it’s the stupid part….the inability to make rational decisions, that has gotten her into trouble.
Personally, I don’t think it’s the schizophrenia, although a number of mental health professionals (2 social workers and an Occupational Therapist) say that repeated psychotic breaks can cause permanent damage. I think it has more to do with the mini-strokes she’s been having. Whatever it is, her frontal lobe isn’t bouncing back from it.
“Your mother has been found incapable”. The words rest so heavy on me. And this is just her incapability for financial matters. Next is her incapability for personal care. Although the social worker at the hospital wants me to act as though I’m already her substitute decision maker and sign forms. They seem to prefer it if the family just takes over without any real authority to do so. But I figure this issue is sufficiently grave that they better get off their asses and tell her what they plan to do, and make it official, with the required Human Rights representation. They need to be the ones to tell her that she can no longer make any decisions for herself — at least not ones that matter. And somehow convince her that we aren’t all out to get her.
I don’t want to be my mother’s parent. And I’m sure she doesn’t want it either. But we don’t always get what we want.
