Not management material
Posted by lynnontop on March 7, 2010
S and I were visiting friends and I was asked how I like my temporary gig as acting manager. When I laughed and said I didn’t, I was asked what about it I didn’t like. I gave the example of being told we had a briefing at 5:30, so staying late for it, then being told it’ s moved to 6:15, the 6:30, then 7, then we go up for the meeting at 7:30 and after sitting there for 10 minutes are told the guy we needed to meet with can’t make it. Not only is there no overtime, but this is taking up valuable time I could be spending with my family – especially knowing that S has been with the Li’l Peanut all day and probably could really benefit from another set of hands.
Although it’s a great example of why my job sucks, it’s not necessarily a good example of why I don’t like being a manager. T mentioned a few managerial concepts like delegation and coaching. And I offered that the manager I’m filling in for is very hands on. She’s able to see the bigger picture, but also has a great understanding at a practitioner level. Unfortunately her style may have encouraged people to do half-assed jobs because she’d be there to fix any problems. I know I have written briefing notes any old way for her in the past, knowing she would just rewrite large chunks of it anyway, regardless of the effort I put into it.
So, I wondered if staff are accustomed to having someone go over their work and fix any problems. And I just don’t have the energy to redo people’s work. I want to be able to trust that when they’re fact checking something, they’ve actually done it right. I don’t want to have to second guess them and go back and ask if they’ve done the work. I don’t want to read their briefing material and ask how they came up with the estimates, or whether what they say is the treatment in other jurisdictions is thorough and factual. I don’t want to already have to know the answers myself.
Basically, I want to make sure they’ve addressed the issue and as long as the note makes sense – then I’m happy. But then my boss reads it (the one I’m replacing, who is now my Director) and asks questions. And I feel like a failure because I hadn’t asked for this extra information.
And that’s the crux of it: I feel like a failure because I have the mindset of a worker, not a manager. Plus, I really don’t deal well with being jerked around by my higher ups (i.e having to stay at work for no good reason). Overall, though, I think I have to make note of things when they occur to me, so that when asked if I want to be a manager again, I can review and remind myself of why I think the job isn’t for me.
