Parental Leave
Posted by lynnontop on September 9, 2010
I was away from work for 5 months while I stayed home with the boy. It was an interesting experience lived, largely, in 2 or 3 hour increments. I lost track of time, I was unable to plan for anything that would take place more than 4 hours into the future. Looking back, I can’t remember much of it – mostly because it was all pretty much the same. He changed – got bigger, crawled then walked. But it still pretty much felt like the same day lived over and over again.
That said, I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to do it. It was all a blur for me, but if you include the month I spent with him and S when he was born, I’ve been with him for half a lifetime. It feels like a good foundation to build on.
I can’t say that I feel equally his mother (relative to S) because I still consider S his mother (because of the giving birth aspect). But I definitely feel equally his parent.
Earlier, when someone would refer to me as his mother I’d have to stop myself from saying “no – S is his mother”. Now I feel a similar reaction but it’s less strong. I refer to myself as his mother when talking to daycare : “hi, I’m D’s mother – how’s his day today?”. We decided that I’ll go with Mama and S will go with Mommy – but more out of having to come up with something to go by.
At Pride I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that said “Lesbian Dad” and thought that ya, that’s more of an apt description. But I just don’t want to take up the crusade of referring to myself as his Dad or his Papa. I imagine conversations like:
Me: ”Hi, I’m D’s Dad.”
Them: “You’re what??”
Me: “I’m D’s Dad. Nice to meet you.”
Them: “You’re what?”
Me: “His Dad”
